Married To The Same Person For So Long?
Hi, this is the first post that will have an extensive portion that was not written by me. I had to put it here cause I think its so relevant and timely and instructive. I will comment on it in my next post. Please share with a friend.
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her handand said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her knowwhat I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked mesoftly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw awaythe chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn'ttalk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find outwhat had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her asatisfactoryanswer, she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't loveher anymore. I just pitied her!With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which statedthat she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who hadspent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I feltsorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not takeback what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she criedloudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me hercry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which hadobsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.The next day, I came back home very late and found herwritingsomething at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight tosleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful daywith Dew.When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just didnot care so I turned over and was asleep again.In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't wantanything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. Sherequested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal alife as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in amonths time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me torecall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day.She requested thateveryday for the month's duration I carry her outof our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was goingcrazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her oddrequest.I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has toface the divorce, she said scornfully.My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intentionwas explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day,we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holdingmummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From thebedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over tenmeters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don'ttell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. Iput her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. Idrove alone to the office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that Ihadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised shewas not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hairwas graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute Iwondered what I had done to her.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacyreturning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life tome. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacywas growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier tocarry her as the monthslipped by. Perhaps the everyday work-out mademe stronger.She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a fewdresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all mydresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown sothin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in herheart.Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mumout. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become anessential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer andhugged him tightly. I turned myface away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this lastminute. I then held herin my arms, walking from the bedroom, throughthe sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softlyand naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I heldher in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lackedintimacy.I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking thedoor. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walkedupstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do notwant the divorce anymore.She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have afever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, Iwon't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she andIdidn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love eachother any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home onour wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and thenslammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for mywife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled andwrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.The small details of your lives are what really matter in arelationship. It is not the mansion, the car,property , the money inthe bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive forhappiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to beyour spouse's friend and do those little things for each other thatbuild intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her handand said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her knowwhat I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked mesoftly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw awaythe chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn'ttalk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find outwhat had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her asatisfactoryanswer, she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't loveher anymore. I just pitied her!With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which statedthat she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who hadspent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I feltsorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not takeback what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she criedloudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me hercry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which hadobsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.The next day, I came back home very late and found herwritingsomething at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight tosleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful daywith Dew.When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just didnot care so I turned over and was asleep again.In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't wantanything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. Sherequested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal alife as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in amonths time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me torecall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day.She requested thateveryday for the month's duration I carry her outof our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was goingcrazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her oddrequest.I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has toface the divorce, she said scornfully.My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intentionwas explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day,we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holdingmummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From thebedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over tenmeters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don'ttell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. Iput her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. Idrove alone to the office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that Ihadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realised shewas not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hairwas graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute Iwondered what I had done to her.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacyreturning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life tome. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacywas growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier tocarry her as the monthslipped by. Perhaps the everyday work-out mademe stronger.She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a fewdresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all mydresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown sothin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.Suddenly it hit me, .. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in herheart.Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mumout. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become anessential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer andhugged him tightly. I turned myface away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this lastminute. I then held herin my arms, walking from the bedroom, throughthe sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softlyand naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I heldher in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lackedintimacy.I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking thedoor. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walkedupstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do notwant the divorce anymore.She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have afever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, Iwon't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she andIdidn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love eachother any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home onour wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and thenslammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for mywife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled andwrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.The small details of your lives are what really matter in arelationship. It is not the mansion, the car,property , the money inthe bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive forhappiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to beyour spouse's friend and do those little things for each other thatbuild intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
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